The Red Sweater

Warning: What you are about to see is not pretty. It may be appropriate to remove the children from the room. You have been warned. Also, I am exaggerating. Your children can totally stay in the room.

I am the proud owner of a red sweater. It is one of my collection of turtle neck sweaters. I am incapable of buying sweaters that do not have turtlenecks. I have tried. I have even had friends help me try. I always pick the ones with the necks. The itchy, restrictive, show-off-the-post-partum-double-chin necks. Maybe this is a sign of turmoil in my subconscious?

Anyway, the red sweater. I wear it often. It has made several appearances on this little blog and will probably make more.

However.

My son does not seem to like this sweater.

Every time I wear it. EVERY TIME I WEAR IT. He regurgitates all over it. EVERY TIME I WEAR IT. I have never worn it for more than a few hours before it has to be thrown, once again, into the hamper.

There is no other article of clothing that has had to endure this trauma.

Most recently when I pulled this sweater over my head, I wondered to myself if it would again be slathered with the marinade of motherhood.

It was.

I documented it for you.


Note how this picture was strategically taken so that you cannot see the turtleneck or the post-partum double chin.. There are some things the internet is just not ready to see..

My sweater thanks you for hearing its tragic story. You may now return to your previously scheduled activities.