So I am the kind of person that likes to do things completely. When I clean up the dishes, I clean the kitchen too. Wipe down the counters, clean the stove, etc. When I put away the toys, they all go away to their little homes on the shelves. When I commit to something, I feel the need to see it through. Sometimes Ian and I refer to it as ‘go mode’. I get started and can’t do anything else until I finish.
I am finding that this is good and bad. It’s bad in that if I don’t think I’m going to be able to finish something, or to succeed at it, I just don’t do it. As one example, there have been times when I have given up altogether on attempting to read my Bible or have a ‘quiet time’ with the Lord because I knew that each day was too unpredictable and I wouldn’t be able to be consistent in it. Another example would be my lack of personal artwork. I know that chances are if I sit down to start something, I will be interrupted and most likely it won’t turn out the way I want it to, so I just don’t do it.
This started to frustrate me because I was doing this with things that were really important to me. Things that I felt an urgency to pursue.
One day I was doing something (probably making the bed.. that tends to be when things suddenly hit me :), and I realized that something is better than nothing. You know, maybe I won’t be able to carve out a time to read all that I want to read in the Bible each day, but it’s important for me to seize the moments I do have, even if it’s only 15 minutes, and use them well. Maybe one day I’ll only be able to get ready to paint and not even actually touch a brush to paper, but I’ll be that much more ready when an opportunity might arise the next day.
The pace of life and my opportunities to do things I used to do have changed. And they’ll keep changing. My making-the-bed-epiphanies are helping me adapt. Like realizing that oh-so-often, something is better than nothing.