Thursday, August 07, 2008

Self-Portrait aka 'Adaptation'

I had this idea…

I’ve noticed that because I am currently so busy, it’s hard for me to prioritize things that are not forced to be a priority (ummm.. hello life). Designing tends to take over, and between that and my research on life (i.e. following various blogs written by people who are interested in life and the many things there are to know about it) I end up spending a large amount of my day staring into the depths of various computer screens.

Since we moved, I have struggled to find routine and consistency during each day (note: I also graduated from college as a self-employed person right before we moved, and so lost all semblance of the structured day that had been my life for 16 years of schooling). For some people that would be great, but I have found that it makes me very lazy and distracted. I get to a point where I can’t focus long enough to remember what I need to do, so I don’t think I have anything to do, so I waste time and proceed to freak out about how much I have to do when I finally remember. That can become a vicious cycle, let me tell you.

I started to become very scatterbrained and had trouble remembering things. I also started to really yearn for my paintbrushes. And when I say yearn, I mean I physically ached to have that creative outlet. Designing is good in many ways, but I need something I can hold on to, something I can express myself through. I can’t get that from a computer.

We had a little desk for me to use, but it was so tiny I had a really hard time working on it. That made painting very unappealing. And since we’re renting, I’m paranoid about working on any other surface because none of them are ours.

Once I started working during the day, my motivation got better as I began to see that if I didn’t keep track of myself, I would never get anything done because I didn’t have as much free time. Then, right before we left for our trip to the states, I got an email saying someone had a desk they were giving away!

We got it right after we got back and I set it up as soon as I had a chance. I was so excited to use it… unfortunately, I had so many evening projects going and was working full time in the day and we had a couple GREAT visitors to occupy us, so I didn’t get to enjoy it…

BUT I came up with this GENIUS realization.

I don’t go to work until 9am. We usually go to bed at midnight or later. What if..

What if we went to bed EARLIER so I could get up EARLIER and paint for an hour before I get ready for work! That would work right?!

So, I have committed myself to getting up at 7 every morning to spend some time with the Bible and my paintbrushes so that I can get back to my life as an artist. I started on Monday and so far I am 3 for 4 :)

The other great thing about this genius idea is that I actually WANT to paint, so I am motivated to get myself out of bed at 7. But, I am more than willing to recognize the importance of sleep and the difficulty I have maintaining myself through a day job, an evening job, a husband, housework, a social life, etc (thank goodness I don’t have a million little kids running around too!). I get off balance pretty easily, so this is not a stringent commitment because it doesn’t need to be right now. If I get to the point of not wanting to paint because of lack of inspiration, for example, I’ll force myself to do it like one would with any discipline. But for now, it is a healthy fulfilling of a need in my life. One that I believe the Lord has called me to nurture.

So, what I would like to do is post my paintings! That way, I have some accountability to keep on a-goin. I’m thinking I’ll probably post about one a week, seeing as it’s Thursday and I’m nearing completion on the one I started Monday. So, look for them. And if you don’t see one for a while PLEASE, with all my heart, I am begging you, ask me about it. Leave a comment, send an email, whatever.

Thanks guys! I’m excited! :)

(Now I just have to find a way to get myself on some kind of exercise plan so I don’t waste away from all this sitting still..)


  1. Well, what with all the flaughter going on it was easy to miss :)