Monday, June 28, 2010

How does this even happen, really?

I didn’t get much sleep last night. Aed helped with that, but mostly I just couldn’t sleep. So sleepy this morning and all I wanted to do was take a nap while Aed slept. I almost never do that anymore.. I have found those minutes are too precious to waste on sleeping. It took him a while to get to sleep, he was banging around in his crib and talking to himself so I camped out on the couch until I knew he was really asleep before I went upstairs to try to nap. Then I started hearing a weird noise coming from the monitor. It was regular like breathing, but sounded funny.

My mama brain immediately assumed the worst and I knew I was going to have to check on him. Especially with all the banging he did before he went to sleep. I also knew that anytime I open the door to his room he wakes up and that it would probably take forever for me to get him back to sleep. But obviously, I had to check on him.

I listened outside his door.. same weird sound.

I opened his door and went in, found him at the end of his crib not moving.

I said his name. Nothing.

I rubbed his back. Nothing.

I started to freak out so I flipped him over because his face was in the mattress. Then he sort of wiggled.

Then I picked him up just to be sure and when I tried to put him back down and leave, he assured me he was fine by screaming like I had just ripped his heart out.

It was another 40 minutes before he was asleep again.

I was so tired, and since he was fine, I was really regretting that I had woken him up. I did manage to catch a half-conscious 15 minutes after that, but there was really no nap to be found.


A part of everyday life.

Things don’t go as planned. You get used to it.

Then you have a baby.

And you realize that actually, you weren’t used to it at all.

Because really, things went according to plan much more than you realized.

I found it amazing after Aed was born how I would just be sitting down to eat after a long day of the vicious newborn cycle, so thankful that he was asleep and we could all just think about feeding ourselves for a little while, only to suddenly hear stirring or screeching as I was about to take my first bite.

It was even more amazing how we’d get him down for the night, have some time to ourselves, decide to finally go to bed and head upstairs, get completely ready, snuggle below the blankets, and close our eyes with a sigh of comfortable relief, only to have our hearts suddenly jumpstarted by a cry that could only mean one thing.. we’d be up for another hour yet till our hungry baby was satisfied.

I mean, his timing was really unbelievable. It still is.

I can’t tell you how often I’ll get him down for a nap, he’s quiet for a good long time, I decide to hop in the shower and as soon as I step in he starts whining. Fortunately, at his age now, he can most always entertain himself till I’m done if he actually fully wakes up.

It’s been so interesting to watch this happen again and again, especially being a believer in God’s sovereignty, and often wondering why He chose that precise timing exactly? It happens so frequently, I think there must certainly be something I should be learning from it :)

It never fails that when I really get my heart set on doing something while my kiddo is napping, he wakes up just as I start. (or breathes weird so I think he’s dying..)

I’ve gotten to the point now that I can almost always just give a bemused chuckle and run up and get my little charmer, no harm done.

Besides, life is a lot more interesting when he’s awake anyway.

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