Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I’d like to present an award..

To myself.

Humble, I know, but you’ll understand momentarily..

See those Sweatpants?

Those are the ones, the ones with ‘Leach Eagles’ and a little eagle on the leg.. Those are my sweatpants from fifth grade. Yes, fifth grade. I have been wearing these sweatpants since I was 11. How many people can say that, really?

I acquired these sweatpants when I was on the cheerleading team. In fifth grade (E-A-G, L-E-S, Eagles, Eagles are the best! Goooooo Leach! Woooo! [attempted leg kick]). That was also the year I got my period, the year I learned it was very important to remember to wear deodorant, and the year I realized I was really not a flexible as I thought and was far too chubby to be a cheerleader. I think it may have even been the year that I found out about my SVT. A monumental three-hundred-sixty-five days in a young girl’s life. I may have even had a boyfriend.. Señor Hellems.. Was that you?

I’m not sure why I still have them (the sweatpants, that is), I’m even less sure of why I can still wear them.. but really, they are the ultimate sweatpants. At some point in their life, I decided they were a little uncool (I know, hard to believe), so I cut the elastic at the bottom of the legs to try to make them less uncool.

I have worn these in public since fifth grade. In fact, I wore them out of the house just last week. The Fife Council rubbish collector men have been exposed to my fifth grade sweatpants.

I decided that since they have been such a part of my life these last (almost) 15 years, they needed to be commemorated. You might think that I would give them the award. Nay, nay. I am presenting myself with this award today, in celebration of my 15 years with these sweatpants.

Thank you and goodnight!


  1. Not sure what is an appropriate thing to say after an award like that, so I'll just embrace it and tell you 'Congratulations!' :)